Friday, December 7, 2012

A Minor Transgression

With Santa on his way, I cannot stress the importance of not being fresh. Unless you don’t care about getting coal or half of last year’s chewed rawhide in your stocking. Then by all means, let nice make way for naughty.

But if you’re like me, and you’re hoping for one of these bad boys under the tree, then you will do your best to at least pretend you’re a good puppy (temporarily of course-no need to reinvent the wheel). Here’s the thing: sometimes I just get a bee in my bum. Sometimes I cannot resist the urge and I NEED to be fresh. It’s freeing, folks. It’s cathartic. And it feels. so.good.

Now, lest you think these little incidents are without consequence, allow me to present to you Exhibit A:
Here I am after my parents came home from dinner the other night, only to discover I’d gotten up on the counter, filched a bag of garlic bread, and eaten the entire top loaf. First there was a lot of pointing at the half-eaten little taste of heaven and yelling at what I consider to be completely unnecessary decibels, “No Sage! NOOOOOOOO SAAAYAAAAGE!!!!” This was followed by a short stint in the corner.

My grandmother says that when my mom was little and being punished in the corner, she would check every 5 minutes to see if she could come out now.

The apple sure didn’t fall far from THAT tree!

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